This Lonely Place
by Helter Skelter Romance
Summary: Ryan is living the life he thinks he has always wanted while Kelly is trying to move on in her life without him. But with trips back to Scranton for business, and with him missing Kelly more and more, will Ryan see that she is what he actually wants?
1. This Lonely Place

_A/N: I find Ryan and Kelly to be such an interesting dynamic and they make me smile and laugh with their dysfunction. This is my first fanfiction ever so please be gentle.

* * *

_

Chapter One – This Lonely Place

When they had been dating, there was a part of Kelly Kapoor that always knew Ryan Howard never loved her. He did not feel one iota of the intensity in which she felt for him. She wasn't even sure whether or not he had even liked her. He had broken up with her so coldly, so harshly, as if the past year they had been together had been nothing to him. And Kelly now admitted, finally, to herself that that was just what he thought of their relationship. It had been nothing to him. She had loved him wholly. She had treated him as if he was everything to her and he had thought that she was nothing. It had taken her two months since he left for New York and he broke her heart but Kelly Kapoor finally admitted to herself that Ryan Howard never loved her. She had never loved someone as much as she had loved him and he hadn't even liked her.

It was strange seeing him again. She sat in the back of the conference room for that morning's scheduled meeting next to Stanley of all people. Ryan was standing at the front of the room, next to Michael, watching as his former coworkers filed in rather drearily and reluctantly. Stanley had no intention of listening to the meeting and had brought one of his crossword puzzle books in with him. He sat in the back against the wall, next to Kelly, so no one could see him blatantly doing something other than pay attention.

Normally, Kelly would have been chattering away on things that were of no interest to him and he would have to sigh and roll his eyes and use the same tactics on her that he used when he was ignoring Michael. But Kelly was not chattering Stanley's ear off. In fact, she was not speaking at all. Instead, she seemed to be particularly obsessed with picking imaginary pieces of lint from her skirt.

Ryan looked different but to her, it was more than the obvious changes on the outside. His beard, his all black wardrobe, his perfectly cut and styled hair, the Blackberry that seemed permanently attached to his right hand now. Everyone noticed those changes but Kelly knew there was something more different to him. His blue eyes seemed blanker than they used to be. They seemed distant, almost dead. But Kelly knew that she was the only one who noticed that. She doubted that even Ryan noticed it.

She didn't mean to look at him but once she finally lifted her eyes from the gray skirt she was wearing that day and saw him standing there, looking down at his blackberry, she couldn't look away. It pained her to look at him but at the same time, despite the tears she still wanted to cry over him and the pain in her chest, her stomach still knotted like a school girl with a crush at the sight of him. She quickly looked down again though when Ryan lifted his head to look at his former co-workers all now present in their chairs in front of him.

Ryan pretended that he couldn't feel Kelly's presence in the back of the conference room. He pretended that he didn't see her picking at her skirt. He pretended that he didn't see just how perfectly coordinated she looked that day like she always did. She wore a gray skirt, a pink shirt and a matching pink cardigan sweater with those black stiletto heels of hers that were her favorite pair.

She had dragged him to New York for a Saturday shopping excursion and she had promised him that it would be so much fun. Ryan though had felt that shooting himself would have been a far more entertaining way to spend his weekend but Kelly could be persistent to say the least. She had found the shoes in Bloomingdales and though he hadn't said anything and simply stood there with his hands in his pockets and stared up at the ceiling, though he had ignored her squeals of delight, he had quickly glanced at her as she pranced around the shoe department, looking at her reflection. Wearing those heels always made her legs look longer and hotter.

Standing there at the front of the conference room though, Ryan, of course, didn't see or notice any of this. In fact, Kelly Kapoor was no longer even a blip on his radar. That's right. Hardly a blip. He barely glanced at her when he looked up from his Blackberry and forced himself to shift his attention to Michael.

Ryan loved New York. This is what he kept telling himself as he stood in that conference room, now the boss of all of these people. He loved everything about his new life – his apartment, his wardrobe, his friends and the money he now had at his disposal. There was not one thing he missed about Scranton. What was there to miss there? He had been absolutely miserable stuck in that miniscule town, working every day in that office. When he had gotten the promotion, he hadn't been able to leave fast enough.

Why would he miss anything in Scranton? Scranton was the symbol in his life of everything that he never wanted. And one of the biggest things he didn't want was sitting in the back of the conference room, her black silky hair pulled back into an intricate knot he was certain she had seen on some celebrity in some magazine, showing off the delicate arch of her neck that he used to always love to kiss…

He moved his eyes away from Michael to see if everyone was there. Pam was missing, he noted, and through the doorway, he saw that she was on the phone, dealing with a call that had come in at the last moment. Ryan sighed softly, glancing down at his Blackberry. He just wanted this mandatory meeting to be over with so he could go back to New York.

"Michael?"

Ryan immediately lifted his eyes upon hearing that voice though it was far much quieter than he was usually used to. He looked at her as she stood up, straightening her skirt as she always did. She had lost some weight in the two months since he saw her last.

"Do I really have to be here for this meeting?" She asked.

"Yes, Kelly. It's mandatory," Ryan snapped much more harshly than he meant to.

Kelly felt her entire body go completely still but she kept her eyes set on Michael. Ryan Howard didn't deserve to have her beautiful chocolate brown eyes even flicker in his direction. "I have been on the phone all morning trying to avoid catastrophe with the mistake in the shipment to the schools. I _need_ to be at my phone right now. Missing a phone call today could very well be more disastrous than Britney's performance at the VMAs."

"What shipment problem?" Ryan questioned, turning his head away from her to Michael, for once, not rolling his eyes at Kelly's random addition of a celebrity reference in her sentence.

"There is NO shipment problem," Michael said forcefully, glaring blatantly at Kelly. He then grinned, almost laughing, and slapped Ryan on the back. "She just wants to get out of the meeting so she won't have to be around you after you dumped the old ball and chain."

"Michael," Ryan said sharply, clenching his jaw so tightly, the muscles in his face began to twitch. "I am your boss now. My private life is none of your business."

"But _everyone knows_ you dumped her," Dwight spoke from his chair in the front row, jumping to the defense of Michael. "She hid under her desk for days afterwards."

Kelly knew that Dwight and Michael didn't mean to be cruel. She knew that they were idiots and spoke whatever they thought without thinking or filtering it and she knew that she was guilty of doing the same thing. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment nonetheless. She had never wanted Ryan to know just how much him breaking up with her had hurt her and effected her though she knew that it was kind of obvious. She wasn't nearly as perky or talkative. She still talked about mundane celebrity trivia and gossip but she really didn't care as much as she used to. She didn't care about Brad and Angelina adopting yet another kid or who was dating who or who was breaking up with you. She didn't care about Britney Spears' new drama with her kids or what rehab center Lindsay Lohan was in that week.

"If we have to stay then Kelly has to stay," Angela said, giving Kelly a pointed look.

Kelly wanted to snap something back at her but she had never been able to be just outright mean to someone like that. Angela had always hated her for some reason. Whenever she had seen Kelly and Ryan kissing, she had always snorted in disgust and made comments under her breath.

"Kelly is staying because there is absolutely nothing wrong with anything!" Michael exclaimed, laughing nervously, his eyes shifting over his employees, his voice getting steadily louder with each word. "Absolutely nothing!"

Ryan blinked blankly at him for a moment before slowly turning his head to look at Kelly and for the first time since he had returned to the Scranton office, she met his eyes directly. She seemed different to him just like he seemed different to her. Ryan thought that that was completely ridiculous. He had spent a year trying to end things between them and now, two months later, he was noticing the little things about her.

One big change for Kelly was that she wasn't smiling. Kelly always smiled. Well… Ryan knew that she _almost_ always smiled.

"_Here," Ryan said, thrusting a green envelope into her hands. "Happy birthday."_

"_Oh, Ryan!" She squealed in such a high-pitched tone that he grimaced. When Kelly got over-excited like that, it always reminded him of fingernails on a chalkboard. She flung her arms around his neck and placed kisses all of his face. "You remembered! I knew you would remember!"_

_The truth of the matter was that Ryan had in fact forgotten that it was her birthday and had only remembered on the drive to work when he had heard the radio morning dj announce the date. With a few choice swear words, Ryan had turned in the direction of the drug store to hurry and buy her a card before he was late to work. He hated being late. Michael always made a big announcement when he was._

_Kelly was still beaming happily as she pulled away from him so she could open her birthday card. She decided to forgive him for the green envelope instead of the pink one and she giggled as she pulled the card out. Ryan was the best boyfriend ever. He had made her believe that he had actually forgotten her birthday. He had gotten into the office and had ignored her and had barely looked at her but then he turned around in his chair and presented her with this. She wondered what he had planned for them to do that night – something sweet and romantic. Perhaps a ring would be involved? Kelly giggled to herself again. It was her birthday and she could dream if she wanted to. _

_Ryan had already turned back to his desk but the silence coming from behind him was slightly unnerving. Kelly had just been squealing for god's sakes and now she was completely silent. He glanced over his shoulder and saw her still sitting in her chair, staring down at the card he had bought for her in her hands, frowning now. _

_Feeling that he was now looking at her, Kelly lifted her head up from the card and gave him a small smile, a fake smile. "Thank you," she said quietly, so un-Kelly like, and then turned back towards her desk, placing the card on top of a stack of papers._

_It was only when she went to the bathroom a few minutes later did he look at the card he had bought. In his haste, he had accidentally bought a card that said "Happy Birthday, Sis" on the front flap and inside, he had signed it with nothing more than his name in his chicken scratch handwriting. He hadn't even read the card when he bought that. And when Kelly returned to her desk, her eyes red, making it obvious that she had been crying, Ryan's guilt grew and he thought about breaking up with her for the countless time. _

_Kelly didn't smile the rest of the day. _

"This meeting is mandatory," Ryan said, not looking away from her eyes. "Kelly has to stay."

"No, I have to stay by my phone," Kelly argued, crossing her arms over her chest. She really didn't want to stay in this meeting and watch Ryan as he presented himself as the new boss to the region. This was like his coming-out party and she wanted no part of it. He had done it. He had gotten everything he had always wanted and she hoped that he was happy but that didn't mean she had to torture herself by watching him be happy without her.

With her arms crossed over her chest, she looked like a petulant child not getting a toy in the store that they wanted. The others in the conference room watched, their heads pinging back and forth between the two as if they were watching a tennis match but neither Ryan or Kelly seemed to notice any of them.

"Despite what some upper management thinks, customer service has not been outsourced to India just yet," Kelly snapped at him, taking silent pleasure when he visibly flinched. From the look in his eyes, she knew he was wondering how she had found out about his suggestion but she only smiled slyly. He, of all people, should have known that she had her ways. "I am still a part of Dunder-Mifflin customer service and customers are in need of my service today."

"That's what she said," Michael blurted out proudly with a grin and Kevin laughed.

Pam entered the conference room, having just now finished helping a person who had to be convinced that Dunder-Mifflin sold paper and that he had the wrong number, but she stopped upon seeing Kelly and Ryan staring at one another. She glanced at Jim, who had been saving a seat for her, but he only shrugged and then shook his head.

After Ryan had broken up with Kelly, ending a year-long relationship with just five words, Pam and Kelly had grown closer. Pam had consoled her, gone shopping with her and had bought Chunky Monkey ice cream for her. Even though Pam and Jim were finally in a relationship together, Pam knew all too well about heartache and her heart went out to her normally bubbly co-worker. She knew Ryan coming from New York back to Scranton would be difficult for Kelly. And Pam was clearly right.

"Kelly," Ryan said, quickly losing his patience. He had never seen her so eager to get back to work before. "Sit. Down."

"For the love of… Kelly, sit down so we can start the meeting!" Michael exclaimed and Kelly sat back down in her chair, her arms never uncrossing from her chest and her eyes never leaving Ryan's.

* * *

Michael looks into the camera with what he hopes is a pensive expression.

"It's not that I'm taking sides in the whole Kelly/Ryan breakup because as the Regional Manager of the Dunder Mifflin branch in beautiful Scranton, I have far more important matters to see to. But if I _had _to, absolutely _had to_, choose a side, obviously, I'm siding with my boy, Ryan. I mean… Kelly should have known as soon as she started dating him… it is impossible to keep a man that good-looking to yourself. Ryan had to do what guys like me and him have to do from time to time."

* * *

Ryan rubbed a hand over his face in exhaustion as he slipped on his coat. It was five o'clock, time to go home, and the people of the office filtered out slowly. The meeting had lasted longer than necessary – thanks in part to Michael and his millions of inane interruptions. And on top of that, as he explained the concept of Dunder Mifflin Infinity to everyone, he was more than aware of her presence in the back of the room. Normally, during meetings, she used to hold his hand or rest her head on his shoulder. She would smell of vanilla and apples and he would try to move away from her but she would only cling tighter. There were some times when it wasn't all bad. He liked it some times when she rested her head on his shoulder. It felt good.

The office was quiet. Most had left already. Ryan had feared that Michael would stay behind and insist they hang out but luckily, Jan had called with some sort of emergency that had Michael running out as soon as he hung up his cell phone. Pam and Jim were laughing softly about something at his desk and Ryan wished that they would leave already. He wanted to be alone for a few moments and revel in the rare silence of the office. He had to drive back to New York but he couldn't seem to finish packing his briefcase bag. He was stalling and he knew he was. He just didn't know why he was doing it.

His mind drifted to thoughts of her, which had been happening more and more ever since he made the move to New York. He would think of her during the strangest times. At home, playing his X-Box, in his bathroom brushing his teeth, at work, sitting on his desk and wishing that she was leaning up against him like she did.

He missed her.

He admitted it. He, Ryan Howard, missed Kelly Kapoor, the girl he had dated and tried to get rid of for a year. He missed her like hell and he hated himself for that. He wasn't supposed to miss her. He wasn't supposed to feel any sort of attachment to her. He had dated her for a year, using her just as something to pass the time with, and now, he missed her and wished that he could talk to her without her bolting for the nearest door.

When did this start to happen? Why did this have to happen to him? He had the perfect life back in New York, albeit a bit lonely one, but the second he got back to Scranton, Kelly somehow managed to dig her way back into his brain like some fucking alien implanted seed.

"Hey, Kelly," Pam greeted with a warm smile.

Ryan looked up from his Blackberry and looked through the door of the conference room to see Kelly walk up to Pam and Jim, who still stood at his desk. She smiled at them, slinging her purse onto her shoulder.

"So you ready for Thursday night horror movie night?" Jim asked.

Ryan pretended to be busy checking his emails but he strained his ears. Since when did Kelly, Jim and Pam all hang out with one another after work? What the hell was a Thursday night horror movie night? Okay, it was a bit self-explanatory but still.

"I hate Thursdays," Kelly grumbled and Pam laughed. "Why can't we move Tuesday night romance movie night to Thursdays?"

"Because then we'd just watch horror movies on the Tuesdays," Jim explained with a shrug and then slung an arm around Pam's shoulders. "Besides, after you two made me sit through _A Love Story_, you can sit through _Amityville Horror_ for me."

Pam laughed again. "I'm sorry, Jim."

"No, Pam," Kelly gasped in mock-horror. "Love means never having to say you're sorry," she said then burst into giggles, joined by Pam and Jim's amused smirk.

Ryan found himself almost smiling but he refrained. He remembered when Kelly had made him watch that god forsaken movie. He had downed a six-pack of beer just to get through it. But they had sat on the couch and she had cuddled with him and Ryan remembered thinking that maybe it wasn't that bad – being with her, not the movie. The movie was awful. But Kelly pressed against him, her fingers playing with his, that wasn't that bad for Ryan.

Looking back on things now, Ryan realized that not everything with Kelly had been as bad as he had thought. It was too late now to even have those thoughts.

"Are you okay, Kel?" Jim asked, suddenly concerned and the mood between the three of them shifted into something far more somber. "With Ryan here this afternoon?"

Ryan turned his head to look at her profile. She still didn't know that he was there and he wondered how she didn't know. He could sense her without ever seeing her. Did she not sense him? Feel him nearby?

Kelly shrugged, smiling sadly. "It hurts but… he's our boss now. He's going to be coming to Scranton a lot so I might as well learn how to deal with it. I mean… Brad, Angelina and Jennifer all live in the same town and they manage to coexist peacefully, right? I can soooooo get through this."

They left a few minutes later, Jim and Pam sparring back and forth playfully between the two of them but Kelly hung back for a minute. She turned and faced the conference room, hers and Ryan's eyes instantly locking. Both fell perfectly still as they stared at one another. She had known he was there the entire time. He had gone through this office in the background, trying to be forgotten by their other coworkers but Kelly had always seen him. She had always been able to find him. As scary as it sounded, he had never been able to hide from her.

Looking him dead in the eyes, she straightened her shoulders back. "I can so get through this."


	2. Head On Collision

_A/N: This story is going to have a lot of flashbacks of Kelly and Ryan's relationship. Just to warn you. Thank you for the reviews. This is my first fanfic so I am excited when people seem to enjoy it._

* * *

Chapter Two – Head On Collision 

Sitting at her desk at work the next morning, listening to Dwight from the other side of the partition as he complained to Toby about another prank Jim had pulled on him, Kelly stared at the collection of pictures she had gathered around her computer. There was one of her sister, who had died two years ago, and then there was a full family picture with her parents and all of her sisters. There was also one of herself, Jim and Pam from some random night when they had all gone to Poor Richard's after work. The remaining ones were of her and Ryan.

She really needed to get rid of those. It was bad for her karma keeping all of those around her. But she couldn't bring herself to. She just couldn't. Even though Ryan looked less than happy in most of them. He had never wanted his picture taken and now that they were broken up, Kelly was able to look, really look, at each picture. She looked happy and bright in every single shot while Ryan looked as if he wanted to shoot himself.

Seeing him yesterday had been hard for her. She had lied to Pam and Jim, telling him that she was fine and that she was getting over it. Fact of the matter was she was no where near close to getting over it. It had only been two months. How was she expected to just get over it? She was in love with him. She had dreamt about marrying him and having babies with him and being with him forever. She couldn't just get over it. She was still in love with him. Except for that stupid beard he had grown, which if they were still going out, she would demand he shave off, he was still as handsome as ever. They still would make such a cute couple.

She was proud of him. Seeing him up there, wearing his suit with that stupid Blackberry of his and ordering Michael around, she had been proud of him. He had done it. He had wanted to get out of Scranton, to climb that ladder and he had done it. He was successful. That was what he had always wanted. He wanted to make something of himself and then one day, he wanted to own his own business. And she had always supported him. She would always help him study for his tests for business class and she always knew that he was going to be a success.

"_Okay," Kelly said, sitting down on the couch next to Ryan in his apartment, holding a stack of index cards with a bright smile. "During my lunch break today, I made these flash cards for your big test tomorrow."_

_Ryan looked up from the text book he was reading and saw the hot pink index cards she was holding. He didn't remember telling her that he had a test and he didn't know how she knew what was even going to be covered. "Uh…" _

"_Great!" She exclaimed. "First question. Fill in the blanks with the missing words. Okay?" She asked and Ryan stared at her before down at the card poised in front of her. He found himself nodding before he could stop himself. "Blank offer intangible goods or services…"_

_He stared at her for a moment before shifting on the couch and facing her more. She leaned forward towards him slightly, waiting for his answer. "Service businesses."_

"_Yes!" She shrieked then leaned forward and pecked him quickly on the lips. "And typically generate a profit by charging for…"_

"_Labor," he fired off quickly and Kelly pecked him again._

"_Or other services provided to government, other businesses or…"_

"_Consumers."_

_Kelly smiled, almost laughing, before throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him enthusiastically. "Brilliant. You are so going to pass this test tomorrow, Ryan."_

_Ryan stared at her for a moment and found himself almost smiling. He may not have liked her and she may have driven him up the wall ninety-nine percent of the time but it was nice to have someone who believed in him. _

"_Next card," she said, pulling back and flipping through the stack. "You ready?"_

_This time, Ryan nodded his head willingly. _

"_Alright. What is this term? Blank determines the business' needs and plans for acquiring the necessary raw materials and-"_

"_Strategic sourcing," Ryan interrupted, getting into her excitement building._

"_Yea, Ryan!" Kelly clapped her hands and then kissed him fully on the mouth. When she pulled away, Ryan was almost smiling again._

Pam jumped slightly in her seat when Kelly came to the reception desk and slapped her hands down. She clicked out of the game of Solitaire she had been playing and looked at Kelly, giving her undivided attention to the petite Indian girl in front of her.

"Shred these please," Kelly said, extending a stack of photographs out to her.

Pam hesitated for a moment and then took the stack, flipping through them quickly. All of them were of Kelly and Ryan and Pam recognized them as the photos that had decorated her desk. Pam opened her mouth to say something but one photo stuck out to her and she paused, staring at the photo before back up at Kelly.

"No problem," Pam said and Kelly smiled before turning and heading back towards her desk.

Pam went back to looking through the pictures. When he had been a temp, she had never had a problem with Ryan. It was only when he was hired fulltime and he and Kelly had been dating for a while did Pam start to not like him. Pam sat behind her desk all day and she saw a lot of what happened in the office. She had seen the way Ryan would treat Kelly sometimes and then the manner in which he had ended their relationship… Pam did not like Ryan. And looking through the photos, she could see just how much Kelly had invested herself into the relationship while Ryan clearly was just using her to pass the time.

But this photo, Pam looked at it the longest before she tucked the entire stack into her desk drawer and went back to her game of Solitaire.

* * *

Pam is sitting in the break room, staring into the camera. 

"I didn't shred the pictures. I know Kelly and she'll want them back. Probably within the next half hour. Last month, we were cleaning out her apartment of "Ryan mojo" and she didn't throw anything out. She cried over one of his socks for almost three hours." She pauses. "I know she'll want the pictures back."

* * *

Ryan didn't really have plans for the weekend. He always had things he could do – go to a bar or to a club with his friends, drink, meet women – but they were never any definitive plans. It was almost five o'clock and though most people at corporate cut out a little early on Friday afternoons, Ryan was still there, sitting in his office, staring blankly at excel spread sheets. He couldn't seem to concentrate. 

Seeing Kelly again had felt almost surreal to him. After two months, it had felt as if he had never left and he had almost been waiting for Kelly to squeal his name and throw herself into his arms, planting kisses everywhere on his face. But that hadn't happened. Instead, she had tried to put as much distance between them as possible.

Funny how that used to be what he was always trying to do but now, all he wanted was for her to be close enough to him as to where he could touch her or just talk to her without her bolting away. He didn't know what he should say to her but he knew he had to say something. He knew he had things to say to her. A lot of things.

Minimizing the excel screen, Ryan clicked on his list of contacts in the company's inner messaging system. Under 'Scranton', he had everyone listed except Creed, who never seemed to have registered for instant messaging. Usually, Michael messaged him at least fifteen times a day and Ryan had started blocking him. But it was quitting time at Scranton too and Ryan saw that everyone had left work except Dwight, Angela and… Kelly.

He glanced at the camera from the corner of his eye before clicking his mouse at her name, opening up a new conversation box. He poised his fingers over the keyboard but, once again, he wasn't sure what to say.

He took a deep sigh.

R. Howard: Hey. What are you still doing there?

She didn't respond right away and Ryan figured that she was probably going to ignore him. He should have expected that. It stung a little though. He now understood how she felt every time she had ever messaged him and he simply ignored it.

K. Kapoor: I was just leaving. I have dinner at my parents' house every Friday.

Oh, right. He knew that. He used to come up with an excuse every Friday to get out of it. He knew Mr. and Mrs. Kapoor hated him and he didn't feel like sitting through that but he also didn't want to give Kelly the wrong idea. Eating a family dinner with her despite her asking him every week would just give her the impression that they were in a serious relationship.

Ryan sighed. He was such an asshole. They had dated for year and they hadn't been with anyone else in that time. Of course it had been a serious relationship.

K. Kapoor: What are you still doing there?

Pleased that she had furthered the conversation along and that she hadn't just ignored him, Ryan sat up in his chair, leaning closer towards the computer screen as he typed, wondering if he was responding too quickly. He didn't really care though if he was, he realized.

R. Howard: I'm just finishing up some last minute things.

His fingers paused over the keyboard, not sure if he should venture into the only topic of conversation his brain seemed capable of thinking about lately.

R. Howard: How are you?

K. Kapoor: I have to go.

R. Howard: Wait.

And she did. She waited. She didn't sign off immediately like she wanted to do and Ryan sighed in relief.

Okay. Now all he had to do was keep up a conversation that would keep her around. It felt odd to be the one who wanted to talk. For a year, he had tried to think of new ways to shut Kelly up when she was babbling, which was always, but now, he was the one who wanted to talk and she was the one trying to get away. Well, he wasn't going to let her get away. From this conversation, he meant. Not in any other way. He just didn't want her to get away from talking with him right now.

R. Howard: I'll be back in Scranton on Monday.

K. Kapoor: I know. Michael sends out office memos. He likes to be prepared for you.

Ryan couldn't help but smirk at that. He tried to steer the conversation away from Michael though. His former boss was never one of his favorite topics of discussion. And besides, Kelly was finally talking to him. This was something he had to take advantage of.

R. Howard: I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch that afternoon or

K. Kapoor: I don't think so, Ryan. But thank you.

_K. Kapoor has signed off. _

And Ryan was left staring at the screen, his fingers still in the middle of typing what he was planning on saying to her. The cursor blinked in the small white messaging box, nearly mocking him, and his fingers refused to leave the keyboard.

He sighed heavily. Maybe he would ask her again Monday. Or maybe he wouldn't. She obviously wanted nothing to do with him and seemed to be moving on just fine. Except for the crying underneath her desk. He kind of wished he hadn't heard Dwight say that. He didn't like the fact that he hurt her. No matter how he had acted in the past, he had always felt a twinge of guilt whenever he hurt her feelings. He knew he had hurt her a lot when they were dating but his general aloofness to their entire relationship had always won out over apologizing or making some grand romantic gesture like Kelly had always wanted him to do.

But now… now, he allowed himself to feel that guilt and didn't tell himself that he wasn't in the wrong because he knew he was.

_You and I are done_.

Five words that could make him cringe. He had really said that to her. After a year and endless declarations of love from her to him and that was how he ended it. And now he missed her and wanted to talk to her and she wanted nothing to do with him.

He sighed heavily, loosening his black striped tie and leaning back in his seat, linking his fingers behind his head and looking up at the ceiling.

Karma was a bitch.


End file.
